Roommate Counsel

Disclaimer: This blog post may contain some exaggeration and opinions that some may describe as rude, but luckily it's MY blog. If msimon667 {Hello adoring fan! So glad we had the chance of meeting via anonymous hate comments, if you missed it read all about it here!} is reading this, you might want to stop or not comment, or do. Because I got soooo much traffic after you commented.


You know it's going to be an interesting day when you wake up fuming from the conversation between you and roommates last night.

Just going about my business, getting a cupcake with friends and about to head to a pool party when Thing 1 and Thing 2 jump out of nowhere and proceed to list off a number of things that, not only are irrelevant to you, but also offensive that they would assume it was your doing.

.."The mess is out of control..I am just really stressed lately so I won't be doing anything any more."

..."Won't be cleaning up after you anymore...like, I might have to quit my part time job in order to spend more time crying about how hard my life is."

"I chose to sign up for gym training at 5 am so it is only logical that everyone in this apartment follow my sleeping schedule which means quiet time by 11 and no one is allowed to feel happiness after those hours. Also, I have a really big, and when I say big I mean me, problem with making cheese and eggs every single morning and leaving it in the sink so that later on, I can point fingers and make you clean them. Hope that's going to be ok."

Alright that's an exaggeration. But they might as well have said that. At least it would have been more entertaining than listening to two obviously pitiful girls wallow in their own lameness and attempt to place the responsibility of whoever made their lives suck onto others.

But this was after an afternoon of Thing 1's publicly crying about how difficult her life is and a previous night of Thing 2 playing security guard and patrolling the living room.


I'm not really sorry that you go to the same school as I do and you think your classes are hard. And I don't  care that you chose to live in a social area of a college town so that you can wake up early, you should have thought of ear plugs when signing that contract.

All I am saying is that you picked the wrong person to ambush. Just because you got the psycho and the body guard teaming up does not mean I am about to roll over and forget that I have a back bone. 

So they better watch it because I don't play nice.