Roommate Counsel

Disclaimer: This blog post may contain some exaggeration and opinions that some may describe as rude, but luckily it's MY blog. If msimon667 {Hello adoring fan! So glad we had the chance of meeting via anonymous hate comments, if you missed it read all about it here!} is reading this, you might want to stop or not comment, or do. Because I got soooo much traffic after you commented.


You know it's going to be an interesting day when you wake up fuming from the conversation between you and roommates last night.

Just going about my business, getting a cupcake with friends and about to head to a pool party when Thing 1 and Thing 2 jump out of nowhere and proceed to list off a number of things that, not only are irrelevant to you, but also offensive that they would assume it was your doing.

.."The mess is out of control..I am just really stressed lately so I won't be doing anything any more."

..."Won't be cleaning up after you anymore...like, I might have to quit my part time job in order to spend more time crying about how hard my life is."

"I chose to sign up for gym training at 5 am so it is only logical that everyone in this apartment follow my sleeping schedule which means quiet time by 11 and no one is allowed to feel happiness after those hours. Also, I have a really big, and when I say big I mean me, problem with making cheese and eggs every single morning and leaving it in the sink so that later on, I can point fingers and make you clean them. Hope that's going to be ok."

Alright that's an exaggeration. But they might as well have said that. At least it would have been more entertaining than listening to two obviously pitiful girls wallow in their own lameness and attempt to place the responsibility of whoever made their lives suck onto others.

But this was after an afternoon of Thing 1's publicly crying about how difficult her life is and a previous night of Thing 2 playing security guard and patrolling the living room.


I'm not really sorry that you go to the same school as I do and you think your classes are hard. And I don't  care that you chose to live in a social area of a college town so that you can wake up early, you should have thought of ear plugs when signing that contract.

All I am saying is that you picked the wrong person to ambush. Just because you got the psycho and the body guard teaming up does not mean I am about to roll over and forget that I have a back bone. 

So they better watch it because I don't play nice.

Scam Artists & Eviction Wish List

A couple of weeks ago I placed my contract up for sell on a bunch of websites. I immediately got several responses via email about the apartment. I thought that every thing was going perfect, I just had to pick who I wanted to sell the contract to! 

One particular female was especially "assertive" about it. She responded quickly to all my emails and was even going to send the deposit and 1st month's rent to me so as to reserve the spot. 

I thought it would be harmless to give her my name and address and didn't think anymore of it. Two days later, I received a FedEx check for the amount of $2,900 in my name. The female {ahem..who knows WHAT gender it really is..} gave me specific instructions about what the money was and that I needed to help her wire the money to her flight agent in New York.

Stop. Right. There. 

This wasn't part of the agreement! You were suppose to just buy my contract, I was not signed up to be a travel agent! 

I told her that I would need her to be here in person before I could sell her the contract and that I couldn't wire the money to her "flight agent" 

She pleaded and reasoned with me to the point where I started believing her...until she said the four words that bothers me to no end. 

"Don't worry about it."

When I asked her a few simple questions, she replied with those four words. 

So I did what I thought was best.

I took it to the bank and had them check the cashier's check. 

Turns out it was a scam and that if I had cashed the check I would have been in trouble and the wired money would have disappeared...

It pissed me off, lemme tell ya. 

I wanted to email and lie to her with fake information about the wired money. I would then call the police and let me them know which Western Union to be waiting at when the stupid scam artist arrived. 

Instead I ripped up the check and went for a run. I am still annoyed because it bothers me when people are lazy and decided to cheat and lie their way around life. 

So I still have a contract I need to sell AND my perception on the world just crumbled. {Sniff why are people so rude?}

My roommates and I sat around coming up with ways we could get out of our contract. We came to the conclusion that if the Landlord evicts us, we could get out of our contract without ruining our credit! 

So we immediately looked up the rules and living standards of off-campus housing and this is what we came up with.

1. Invite a TON of people for a dance party where we will be accepting donations that will go towards our rent. This dance party will cause our floor to break so we will have to move.

2. Pets are not allowed so we will bring in a dog, a cat, and a bird. 

3. We all have family history of diseases so we could just forge doctor's notes saying that we have an unexpected and serious illness. 

4. Stage a hit & run of a car into our apartment so obvy we can't live there! 

5. Cause a gas leak & risk carbon monoxide poisoning.

6. Buy weapons, explosives, and drugs. Pay someone to rat us out so we will get kicked out....

....yah...what really happened...

I spoke to the internship coordinator and the off campus housing department. Sent a written notice to the Landlord stating that I had to be let out of my contract because this internship is {kinda} required for my graduation.

The one problem? I was suppose to have sent that notice 120 days before I leave...

I will fight them if they don't let me out and that is a promise! 

"Is this my conscience?"

I don't really consider my group of friends "wild". Sure, we like to go to parties, stay up late, and occasionally do some really random {crazy} things but we are hardly the party animal type. 

This past summer, we had a good share of {loud} people over at our apartment and we never got a visit from our neighbors downstairs. Actually I don't even recollect WHO actually lived underneath us...

Anyways, since the new school year has started we have had several visits from our undergrounders. The first time was somewhat pleasant....we were told to stop thumping at 10:30 pm. 

Okkkk....

The second time we were just chatting outside but there was door slamming and glaring involved before one of the basement dwellers had the guts to tell us to be quiet. She went as far as to give us permission to have fun and friends over on the "weekends". Who signs up for 7:30 am college class while living in a popular and social part of South Campus? 

Third time is suppose to be the charm. It was the weekend, we weren't stomping and we weren't doing anything loud. But now we are told to completely shut up and not even think of the word "FUN" ever again. 

Followed with loud ceiling thumps. 

I think they should invest in ear plugs because no matter how many times they thump or yell at us, we will be having our friends over. We will be having fun and yes, that involves noise. So sucks for you!