Ms. Bennett

In 10th grade I was required to read Pride and Prejudice for my English class book report. I enjoyed the book very much, not because it was a romantic love story but because my high school English teacher was an expert at Jane Austen. So when we read the book she made it much more interesting and actually gave the novel depth and substance. 

I learned that Jane Austen was so satirical and witty that most people can't even spot her sarcasm! With that said, most of Jane Austen's characters in Pride and Prejudice are actually being mocked. One of my {and apparently Jane's} least favorite character is Mrs. Bennet.

 

 Mrs. Bennet is portrayed as a foolish and over bearing women whose only goal in life is to see her daughters married.  She often displays unattractive behavior that repels people. I am most annoyed with her when she is loud and dramatic about dumb things.

That being said, my mother is Mrs. Bennet. 

I love my mother. She is an intelligent women who has an excellent sense of taste. She is also selfless and kind. 

However, I do not aspire to grow up to become my mother as most people wish to become like their parents.

As a matter of fact, I don't want to resemble my mother at all. 

I am the oldest of four daughters. So that makes five women and one man. {My poor father!} My dad is a lot like Mr. Bennet. He does what he needs to do to support his family but leaves all the up-bringing and social calls to my mother. 

With so much estrogen and maturing girls around the house, we talked about everything with my mother who, being the ring leader, openly gave her opinion on things. At first it was nice, I was young and didn't know anything about anything so I believed everything my mother told me. 

Now that I am growing up and boy-girl relationships are everywhere, the topic of dating/marriage/relationships are the only things my mother talks about.

It would seem to be a relevant topic to discuss...just not with my mother. 

 

...For example,

In high school, I made the mistake of introducing my dates to my mother. My entire family sat around my date for what seemed like hours. My mother took several hundred shots of my date and I before we could leave. And as we walked from my door step to his car, my mother followed us outside with her camcorder.

 

That's right. I have footage of my date's car pulling out of the drive way and driving away...all thanks to my mother. 

My freshmen year at college, I learned to tone it down. I innocently thought that I would be ok if I just mentioned the boys. No embarrassment could come from that right? 

Wrong. 

I would confide in my mother stories of boys and dates but the next time I visited my home ward, the entire congregation knew exactly what I had done last Friday night. No sooner than that, neighbors and family friends constantly bugged me about those boys. I couldn't get a word out about my education or work without having to answer a dating question first. It got so bad that I would get phone calls from my aunts and uncles in Hong Kong {China!} concerning these small dates with boys of no importance.

To make it clear, these conversations were not just simple inquires of my dating life, they went something like this:

"So I heard from your mother that you went wave running with this boy.."

 

"Yep, I went last week. It was a lot of fun."

"So are you and him dating?"

"...No, just friends. Wait did my mother tell you this?.."

"Oh rightttt, well I guess I couldn't really imagine you being with a red head."

"Wait how did you know he had red hair?.."

"..Plus, I heard that he didn't even feed you on this date. What a cheapo!"

"...Uh oh I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I still had a nice time..."

"Well making a move on you on the first date is just the worst! Who does he think he is? I really can't see him being that attractive. Isn't his father a doctor? I guess you will get free health benefits. You really are such a great girl, you have sooo many other options. Why settle for one person? Especially for a boy who doesn't even speak Chinese! Don't you think marriage is a little soon to be considering? I heard your parents haven't even met his family yet. Are you sure you want to continue on with this relationship? There really is no need to be rushing into these things, there is so still much for you to learn. I heard he is in the animation program at BYU. Didn't he get a job offer at some company? I guess he has a career lined up but if he didn't that is just asking for trouble..." 

"....but it was just one date..."

 

"...He isn't very strong looking but I guess looks aren't everything. I heard he likes to cook so that will be nice for you when you are taking care of several children. But his hair, you have to do something about his hair! Can you imagine your wedding announcements?! Don't worry though I'll still come to your wedding. OH my cousin does flowers, I could probably get you a discount!"

Imagine strangers coming up to you and telling you these things. No joke.  

 

I thought that after I had made the decision to stop telling my mother personal things, unless it was absolutely necessary,  it would stop all of this craziness.

As it turns out, it makes things worse. My mother has now resorted to match making. She had researched his background, interviewed him about his life plans, and talked to his parents before she even mentioned a blind date. 

When our plans fell through and no one ended up going on any date, drama ensued. I was the bad daughter who hated an innocent man just because I was too picky. I didn't want to make my parents happy. I was going to die old and bitter.

Every time he was brought up, my mother would get all teary eyed and clear her throat and say, "Well there is no use talking about him now, your sister/daughter won't even look at him." 

And then she would run into her room and mope about it. If he was invited over for Sunday dinner my mom will call and say, "I just want you to know that I invited him over for dinner. Now, I know that you hate him but really, Winnie, he is a good family friend of ours. I won't stand for all this hatred! He has done nothing to you. He is a good person and I just don't understand why you hate him soooo much. If you don't want to see him, you can just not come to Sunday dinner ok?!"

I would usually reply with, "Mom, I never said I hated him. I don't care if you invite him for dinner. Yes I will be there. Just stop crying, it's ok!" 

 

Every time I pay rent, I just remind myself that I am not just paying for an overpriced shared room in Provo but that I am also paying for sanity and privacy. 

It makes it all worth it. I don't know why Elizabeth and Jane didn't leave the country.